a Hell of Heaven and a Heaven of Hell
by AndiKaneUnderwood
Summary: As Sam grew up, he'd learned young that his powers were a curse. It wasn't until he met SRU's Team One that he thought any different.


a Hell of Heaven and a Heaven of Hell

By: AndiKaneUnderwood

AU: Powers

_Gregory "Greg" Parker (Sensor): Power Augmentation_

_Ed Lane (Super): Invulnerability_

_Julianna "Jules" Callaghan (Firecracker): Fire breathing_

_Sam Braddock (Psy): Telepathy_

_Mike "Spike" Scarlatti (IED): Self-Detonation_

_Kevin "Wordy" Wordsworth (Forensic): Superhuman Tracking_

_Lewis "Lou" Young (Atmos): Water breathing_

_Donna Sabine (Persuade): Mind Control_

_Leah Kearns (Flow): Null_

_Rafik "Raf" Rousseau (Transport): Teleporting_

_"The mind of man is capable of anything." -Joseph Conrad_

_"The mind has a mind of its own." -Anonymous_

_"The mind is its own place and in itself, can make a Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven." -John Milton_

As Sam grew up, he'd learned young that his powers were a curse. His father had told him a long time ago that he wasn't to use his powers for any reason. His mother had stood by his father for the fear of what he would do to Sam, but whenever the General was gone, his mother would allow him to settle into her head so that he'd stay healthy.

His powers were some of the only ones in the world that could kill him if they aren't used regularly. Nosebleeds, migraines, blurry vision, any kind of symptoms that came along with the suppression of his power, Sam had to hide it away from his father and the rest of the world. His father wouldn't have ever understood, he'd have put a suppression collar on Sam faster than he'd kicked Sam into the military when Sam turned 18.

Suppression collars were even worse than a natural suppression. They kept you chemically suppressed and never let up. They were locked by fingerprint and you couldn't unlock it unless you were the person who put it on. And Sam's father would _never_ take the collar off. So, Sam took care to never let his father see his physical symptoms. He made damn sure that his father didn't see the pain in his face, the blood in his trashcans, the squinting of his eyes.

His power was kept out of his military files. His father made sure of that, damn sure, but Sam had told Matt and Ben. Matt and Ben had understood and let him tie his mind to theirs. It kept him healthy, it kept him safe, and it ensured he wasn't covering blood and dizziness and migraines in the middle of a mission. Then Matt died at the end of Sam's first our through Afghanistan and Sam clung tighter to the tie he had with Ben. Ben told him over and over it wasn't his fault, but Sam never really believed it himself. Ben told him over and over that he'd been cleared to fire, that he was only following orders, but Sam never truly believed Ben was right. Especially not when, in the middle of his second tour, the same thing happened to Ben. Sam left the army with no regrets. He couldn't shoot people with no faces anymore. If his orders where to shoot to kill, he wanted to know who he was killing and why. He put an application to the SRU, the best of the best in Canada, and hoped for the best. His father fast-tracked the application.

Sam knew that no matter how he protested, the General would do it anyway, so he allowed it. He apologized to the team he was placed on for them not being able to do things the traditional way, but he was done apologizing for his father's mistakes. He'd apologized to the Boss, Greg Parker, first and foremost, but Boss had waved it off with a sigh. "I understand why it happened, Sam. We may need to clean off the rough edges, but with some training and time you'll be a great addition to Team One."

He apologized to Jules, Wordy, Spike, and Lew by buying them a few rounds to get to know them better. He learned that Wordy and Ed where old friends. He learned that Spike was a bright, funny person. He learned that Lew was a great guy and looked out for all of the team. He learned that Jules was a beautiful woman, but not to be trifled with cause she could definitely drink him under the table _and_ kick his ass.

He apologized to Ed last because Ed refused to stay in the same room as him for more than twenty minutes when they weren't at the station or on a hot call. Ed was a stubborn man, protective, but Sam didn't let it deter him. His apology to Ed was by far the most painful, it required him going into why he'd left the army. He told Ed about Matt, told him about Ben. He hadn't ever intended on it, never wanted anyone to know. He made damn sure that Ed knew the action report and everyone else said it was not his fault. But Sam never believed it, could never let himself believe it.

Afterward, the whole thing kind of fell into place. The team had all already warmed up to Sam, and after Ed had finally been warmer with him, Sam suddenly found himself victim to many a prank. Flares in his locker, pepper spray in his boots, freezing showers, they did it all.

The first prank was Spike's, just like he was the first one to warm up to Sam, just like he was the first mind Sam had met that was so open and positive. Jules may have been the first mind he tied to, but Spike was probably his favorite to stay with. The rest where a combination of the rest of the team. Jules, Wordy, and Ed did the pepper spray, it seemed to be a favorite of Wordy's. Boss had screwed with the showers, which had taken Sam by surprise the most, but Lew and Spike always had his favorite pranks. They where by far a team to be reckoned with. The entirety of Team One was and Sam couldn't have been prouder to have been put on the team.

It was only after they did protection detail for a serial killer that Sam felt safe enough in his standing to tell them his carefully guarded secret. It wasn't until Jules came back that he told them.

_Flashpoint~Flashpoint~Flashpoint_

Lew was the first one he told. Lew was the one who'd really drove the point home that this team could be trusted. Sam had pulled him aside by asking him to help him with cleaning up a goopy, clogged gun that was full of a less lethal puddy. "Okay, Sam. Here is some vinegar and I'm sure you know what salt is. Should be enough to clean up the puddy, but if it isn't I'll run for some more." Lew handed over the objects and Sam nodded.

"Thanks, Lew." Sam began cleaning the weapon, pouring in small amounts of the products.

Lew studied Sam for a few long moments, then sat down and sighed. The water-like rattle in his lungs became louder and Sam looked up. "Now, I know you didn't just call me in here to help you figure out how to clean up this gun. What's wrong?"

Sam sighed, setting down the gun. "I'm about to tell you something that will affect everything about the way you see me and my job here at SRU."

Lew nodded, "Alright."

Sam was silent for a few minutes, then nodded and took in a fortifying breath. "I'm not a Null, Lew. I have Telepathy."

It was Lewis' turn to be silent, a job he was very good at. "Okay."

Sam felt faint. "Okay?"

"Okay," Lew repeated, nodding to Sam with a small grin.

"Lew, I just told you that I've been lying to you and the rest of the team for six months. And all you can say is 'okay'?"

"Sam, no offense, but you haven't done the best job of hiding the consequences of suppressing your power." Lew pointed to Sam's nose and Sam wiped at it with the back of his hand, finding fresh blood when he pulled his hand away.

"Shit," he breathed, grabbing the tissues he kept in his pocket and tilting his head back as he pressed the tissues against his nose.

Lew chuckled as he gently took one of the tissues and cleaned the blood off Sam's chin.

Sam would've glared if he thought this was Lew coddling him, but he knew Lew didn't pity or coddle. Lew was just sparing the others and protecting Sam. So he allowed the older male to clean the blood off his face. When he felt the blood beginning to slow, he pulled the bloody tissues away and pressed clean ones to his face.

Lew waited patiently for Sam to clean himself up, then asked, "This happen often?"

Sam looked up, surprise and something almost like fear flittering around his face. "Only when I suppress my powers for long periods of time. They affect my health."

"You plan on telling the rest of the team?"

Sam nodded, "At some point, yeah. I'm just... I don't want to lose the best thing that's ever happened to me because my father trained me to never tell anyone."

Lew chuckled, "Sam, everyone on Team One has powers. I can breathe underwater, Spike can explode and reform himself, Jules breathes fire, Wordy can track anyone, Ed has invulnerability, and Boss keeps track of every single powered person he's ever come across. I don't think the Captain would like it, but Boss protects his own and Ed backs him up, and there isn't a person alive who says no to them when they're protecting their own. You won't lose your job, Sam. We got your back."

Sam smiled and nodded. "I want to tell them today. End of shift."

Lew nodded. "Alright. I'll be there."

_Flashpoint~Flashpoint~Flashpoint_

Sam had called them over after their shift ended and began by saying, "This isn't easy."

The team looked like they wanted to protest, but Sam continued on with his explanation as though they'd never looked at him in that confused and worried way. When Sam was finished, he waited patiently for them to respond. Ed was first. "Alright, Sam, you'll be the first recorded telepath in about fifteen years. How can we help?"

Sam had looked at Ed like he'd suddenly grown another head, confused and scared and lost. "What?"

"How can we help? Does it hurt you not to use it?" Ed asked again.

"Uh, yeah. I get a bloody nose, migraines, dizziness, nausea, and lightheadedness that eventually causes me to pass out. It gets more dangerous for me the longer I go without using it." Sam replied, eyes darting between the members of his team. "Eventually, the symptoms will get to be so much, I'll fall into a coma and may not wake up. Happened once when I was a kid when we first discovered my powers."

"Okay, how do we help the symptoms lessen?" Ed stepped closer and Sam's eyes went wide as he swayed back, gracefully keeping his balance even when he stumbled. Ed stepped back again and Greg glanced at Spike instead.

Spike spread his hands out wide, taking a small step forwards. "Sam, we just want to help, okay? Can I come over to you?"

Sam nodded and Spike took another step forward. "Alright. Can you tell me how it works?" Spike continued stepping closer until he stood right next to Sam with a smile.

The blonde snipper nodded, "Okay, uh. I can hear people's thoughts in my head. Like, um, like right now, the Seargent for Team Three is thinking of going home to his daughter and girlfriend. And, uh... And Boss is trying to keep calm thoughts, but he's very upset with my father. And that's with me not looking into someone's head, that's just the surface level. I can communicate with other minds too, like um. Do- Do you mind?"

Spike shook his head and Sam reached up to set his hands on either side of Spike's face. Reaching out mentally would always be the best way to form a new connection between him and another person, but when communicating with a mind he was not tied with, physical contact was the easiest way to ease both himself and the other person into knowing his power. Spike didn't react when Sam met his eyes, but as he formed a gentle connection between the pair, Spike's eyes went comically wide and he gasped softly. A whole new world opened up to Sam's mind, and he had to close his eyes to take it all in.

Flashes of magenta and red and an old Italian home came swimming through his mind, but Sam blocked them all out in favor of pushing a single question through to Spike's mind. _Can you hear me?_

_Holy shit._ Spike thought. _I actually can. This is so cool!_

Sam's smiled reflected in his thoughts. _Mom thought so too._

He then retreats because people with little exposure to his power can easily pass out when exposed to too much of it if he doesn't create a tie between their mind and his. "See?" he asked softly, opening his eyes and dropping his hands.

Spike nodded with a smile. "I get it."

Jules chuckled and Sam's eyes cut to her. She smiled and he tilted his head. With a hum, she answered the unspoken question, "I've just realized how fitting it is that you have telepathy." Sam's eyes narrowed in confusion and Jules' smile widened, "Your mind has always been your most powerful tool, Sam. Now, it's just even more powerful."

Sam's smile reflected in his thoughts again as Wordy cleared his throat. "I'd be really careful about your powers around the subjects, Sam. You've noticed how jumpy they get around the six of us that have known powers. They'll get even worse around someone they know can get inside their heads."

Sam was pleased that they hadn't asked about him poking about inside their heads, but the way Wordy had worded that last bit had worried him. Wordy seemed to pick up on that, but he didn't backpedal or go spiraling into apologies like Sam's sister had once. Instead, he smiled and Sam got a sudden feeling of deep-seated trust and contentment settling deep into his chest. Sam nodded and let the instability in his chest fade away.

His eyes cut to Ed, who he was most worried about reaction-wise. Ed was his mentor and friend and highly protective of his team. Sam may be confident in his standing on the team and content telling his teammates that he was not _nearly_ as Null as his file said he was. Ed gazed back at Sam for several moments as Spike chattered away about his powers being amazing and how would they work with others? Ed's eyes flickered and his lips lifted quickly and briefly as he nodded to Sam. Sam immediately understood what Ed meant. He nodded back.

After the others where done fussing, Greg stepped forward and offered a smile, "I'm happy you trust us with your secret, Sam. I understand this could be dangerous for you?"

Sam nodded, "Yeah, I've got one of the only powers in the world that could kill me if I don't use it regularly."

Greg hummed and grabbed a pad of paper. "How often is regularly?"

"When stretched, I can go for a month and a half before I absolutely _have_ to use them. On a bad day, maybe three hours."

Greg wrote that down as Spike's eyebrows knitted together in his confusion. "What's a 'bad day'?"

"When I'm not doing well and everything in my head is too loud. My powers go haywire, I can't stop projecting my thoughts to others' minds and I can hear everything from everyone. It gets jumbled into a tangled mess and I can't focus. I had a lot of those before I joined the army." Sam replied.

Jules sat up suddenly as Spike's eyes went wide, "Sam, you're bleeding."

Sam, for the second time today, reached up and wiped at his nose. His hand pulled back and he found blood, his other hand already reaching for the tissues. "That's never happened before."

Ed's voice came floating through the air as Sam tilted his head back again. "What do you mean?"

"Nose bleeds don't come unless I'm hit or I suppress my powers. Never had a nose bleed when I'm not suppressing." Sam's voice was muffled behind the tissues, but five minutes later, he pulled them away and the bleeding had stopped. Sam cleaned himself up quickly and efficiently and in under ten minutes, there was no sign of Sam's nosebleed other than the slight paleness of his skin. "It's honestly a relief to stay away from suppressing. Like a weight lifting from my shoulders."

"What happened after you joined the army?" Greg questioned as Jules brought in a chair and managed to get Sam to sit so Spike could check him for an injury they'd missed in the hot calls they'd had that day.

"Met Matt and Ben. Ben caught me using my powers to examine a girl about 30 miles off. I made sure she didn't know I was there, but sometimes when I use my powers a lot, my eyes go white and it scared the Hell out of Ben. So, I had to tell him so he wouldn't check me into Medical. From there, I ended up telling Matt because no one could ever keep a secret from him. He had the power to compel you to tell the truth. They made sure I wasn't hiding anything from the team and covered for me when I had to escape for a minute." Sam sat perfectly still as Spike shined a light into his nose, which was a little embarrassing because, you know, that's his _nose_, but he lived.

Spike nodded, "You're good. No injuries," and backed away a few paces to sit in the chair next to Sam's.

Sam sighed and hummed as he relaxed minutely. Lew spoke up, "If you need to tie to someone in order to stay healthy, maybe tie with us?"

Sam's eyes snapped up as he met the dark brown eyes of his teammate. "What?"

Spike grinned, "I wouldn't mind," at the same time Jules sat up straighter as she always did when something had her full attention and Wordy nodded his affirmation before Lew was done asking.

Greg took a few steps and knelt down next to the blonde sniper. "It won't bother us, Sam."

Sam felt appreciation warm his heart as he smiled shyly. "I'd wanted to ask you if I could tie to you so I could keep tabs on you in the field. You wouldn't mind?"

Ed came closer as well and smiled, "Not a bit."

So Sam sat up and nodded. "Jules?" The others backed up and Jules stood in front of Sam's seat. He got to his feet and placed his hands on her face, sinking his fingers into her hair. "Tying a mind to mine won't be the best experience, it'll be uncomfortable for a while, but you'll get used to it." Sam closed his eyes and opened his mind to anchor to hers. "Please stay absolutely still until I'm done, okay?"

He felt Jules nod and sighed as he pushed gently into her mind. It was a beautiful place, all brimstone fires and silver and brown, an old lived-in bedroom with pictures all around. He found a spot to anchor to and began the process of creating the tie. Jules gasped and Sam shushed her softly, "I know it feels weird, I'm sorry." It took only about three minutes and Jules shuddered when it was done, but Sam felt it solidify between them and he smiled.

The process repeated, first with Spike, who was so ecstatic to be part of this he forgot all about his discomfort, then Ed, Wordy, and the Boss, all of whom went through the process with no complaints. Lastly came Lew, who smiled as Sam settled his hands and closed his eyes alongside the blonde. "You know I trust you right?" Lew asked quietly.

Sam grinned and pushed a single thought to his teammate's mind._ I know._

Sam's ties each had a color; Jules was silver, Spike was magenta, Ed was blue, Wordy was yellow, Sarge was green, and Lew was orange. Sam went home that night with six new ties in his head and a smile on his face. His father may have taught him his powers where wrong, but his family on Team One were the ones he trusted more than anyone in the world. He grinned wide.

_A perfect way to end the day._


End file.
